My Gut-Check Moment from God...

i've been doing ALOT of pouting lately...ALOT of crying & sulking...TONS of feeling sorry for myself. and rightfully so i might add...i'm going thru a freakin' crisis of sorts. i don't really want to get into the ugly details of my broken heart & shattered dreams...i will just leave that messy part to your imagination.

what i will share with you however is the HUGE reality gut-check moment God so graciously dumped in my lap today. for real, i got served. here's the deal...

i have been so bitter, so worn, so confused, so pissed, so sad, so out of it lately...i'm sure i've been more things, but those would be the main points. anyways, i've been a little brat...playing a pity party over & over & over in my head. having numerous "why me" moments & fearing that God might actually answer me with the ugly truth.

well, today it HIT ME...like a ton of bricks. how dare i spend my days feeling sad & worn & worthless. God LOVES me...Jesus DIED for me. He sacrificed His very own life, shed His precious blood so that i may have LIFE. & not any old life...a life full of JOY. who am i to spit in the face of God & act so childish & petty. so i've hit a bump in the road...a hurdle to get over...a mountain to climb. i will make it to the top...nothing can stop me but myself. & to be quite honest, i am my own worst enemy. i will be challenged in this endeavor, but i will be strong & i will face this struggle with power & dignity. i owe that much to God & to myself.

i humbly asked God, how will i accomplish this feat...what can i do to really make it thru? i feel alone & small & weak. how will things ever be ok again? He answered me, "Lisa my child, you don't have to do anything. Take care of yourself, take care of your children, and leave the rest to me."  how thankful i am for my amazing Heavenly Father. without Him, i would never make it.