Jocelyn's Pink Poodle Party

~Jocelyn's Birthday Cake~

Jocelyn had the sweetest birthday party ever!!  her cake was amazing, just so beautiful.  i still can't believe she's already 7, those years sure went by FAST...

i was glad that jocelyn had such a good time at her party.  i love seeing her smile & just filled w/ happiness.  i think everyone had a really good time.  it was really sweet, we had a "Spa Party"...all the girls got their nails done, make-up, lotions & body sprays from bath & body works, bracelets & rings.  i think everything turned out great!!

Jocelyn's Gifts & Goodies

Jocelyn & Daddy





~Happy Birthday Jocelyn Abigail~



"Lucky 7" ~ Happy Birthday Sweet Jocelyn

~Jocelyn Abigail Weese~

    
     has it really been 7 years since jocelyn was born???  it has all went by so fast!  i can still remember the moment she came into this world...i had to have a c-section w/ her so i couldn't see her right when she was born, but i sure could hear her...her cry was so loud!  i don't remember even being worried about her, all i was asking the nurses & doctor was "PLEASE tell me there's no penis!"  (i already had a boy & i wanted a girl SO SO BAD...) anyways, i could not have been happier that day...i finally had my precious little girl i had waited for for what seemed like forever.  everything was PERFECT in my life!!

     well, time went by & jocelyn seemed to be just fine...but then we got to 6 or 7 months old & i just felt like something wasn't right.  she wouldn't even try to sit up, even w/ help she seemed to have no balance or coordination.  she wouldn't ever let her feet touch the ground & try to push up or stand like most babies do.  even in her exersaucer/walker she would NEVER want her feet to touch the ground.  her weight started to decrease fairly rapidly too.  i especially knew when she turned 1 that something was definitely wrong w/ her, but her doctor would not listen to me.  i can still see her at her 1st birthday party...in a baby walker, not just because she couldn't walk, but she still couldn't even sit up by herself.  no crawling either...& she was 1.  well, i finally got in to see a developmental pediatrician in tulsa...PRAISE THE LORD!!!  because of this wonderful man, jocelyn has made the best progress imaginable. 

     we have had quite the journey over the past several years.  we have went thru many tests, appointments, therapies...lots of tears & days i completely felt like giving up.  but w/ the help of my family, friends, church, therapists, doctors & specialists i have been strong enough to hold it together for this precious little ANGEL.  speaking of Angel...it took us over 3 years to finally get the diagnosis i was waiting on...what in the world is wrong w/ my daughter???  well, we were lucky enough to get to have a visit w/ a great pediatric geneticist that did a thorough study of jocelyn's history...he was able to let us know for certain within 6 weeks of testing that she for sure had ANGELMAN SYNDROME.  http://www.angelman.org/  honestly, i had never even heard of this mess before...but i sure know a ton about it now.  i've been living it on a daily basis for the past 7 years.  with each year comes new challenges & obstacles, but jocelyn has handled it well. 

     jocelyn was diagnosed w/ failure to thrive from age 1 to a little over 2.  she ended up having a metabolic disorder that just wouldn't allow her food to give her any nutrition.  it took several months to get that straightened out.  i thought she would be 15 pounds forever.  once we got her nutrition under control & w/ the help of her therapists, she finally began to sit up & then crawl.  i was so proud of her!!  then at age 3 she began having seizures.  it effected her everyday life, she couldn't sit up or crawl during this time.  it was so hard to watch her going thru that battle, she had made so much progress during that 3rd year of life & now it was like watching her just go backwards.  she even had to work on her sensitivity issues again which had already taken months of work just to desensitize her to her everyday environment.  what's that you ask...yes, there's a whole world out there called sensory processing disorder.  jocelyn even has to deal w/ this stuff everyday too.  http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ well, we have finally gotten her meds right & i'm happy to say that we have now been seizure free for the past 2 years!!!   but we've still had to get used to many things that come w/ angelman syndrome.  wheelchairs, for example...thank goodness for joce's wheelchair.  as much as i hate that we have to have one, it's been such a blessing for getting her around.  i don't think anyone out there ever sees a wheelchair in their child's future, but for jocelyn it's a must have. 

     she still does not walk w/ out assistance, she has NO SPEECH at all.  she goes to physical therapy, occupational therapy, & speech therapy every week & has been for the past 5 years.  i still can't believe that she's 7 today & i have yet to hear one word from her mouth.  we have our own special conversations everyday, but i yearn to hear her sweet little voice say "momma" someday.  you just never imagine that you will have a child that has anything wrong, that their development will be at such a SLOW rate.  the pain that her disorder brings to my heart cannot be explained, only those that have similar situations in their life can understand.  i know i have many friends & family that have compassion for jocelyn & i, but they still have no way of knowing the inner grief i feel & how hard daily life is for jocelyn.  but she is a brave & determined little girl...she works so hard to make progress.  her SMILE is infectious...for real!!!  i wish that i had her happiness all the time.  i LOVE that mentally she has no fears, no problems, no worries, no pain, no heartache...the way that we do.  her SIMPLICITY is the greatest gift that God could have ever given to her.  God showed me this last fall when we lost a dear family member due to suicide...how painful that was for all of us to endure.  but as i stood at the cemetary during mitch's service i literally felt God tap me on the shoulder & say to me..."i know you hate angelman syndrome, you hate that wheelchair, but i need you to understand that jocelyn's SIMPLICITY was the greatest gift i could ever give to her...the pain that mitch felt was so harsh, but jocelyn will never have to feel that"  WOW...i do believe that's the closest i've ever felt to God & it touched my heart more than i can ever explain to anyone.  it was like i could feel mitch there telling me that jocelyn's peace was far greater than her legs or voice working.  i now have a special place in my heart for mitch & thru jocelyn's SIMPLICITY i'm reminded that God works in mysterious ways.  i cannot wait to see mitch in heaven, so that i can hug him & tell him thank you for giving me comfort that i never thought i would find even though he could not find his own comfort here on this earth.  he did his service, he will be rewarded for that, i was a beneficiary of his purpose here on this earth & i will never forget what he taught me.  SIMPLICITY is the best...jocelyn has simplicity & in a way, i'm jealous!! 
  
     jocelyn definitely has a purpose here, she's here doing her part in God's big plan.  i myself am honored that God chose me to care for her.  He picked me over all others to be her mom, to watch over her during her time on earth.  i know that we are all beneficiaries of the message that jocelyn has brought here to earth.  the Lord is ultimately speaking to us thru her & i thank Him so much for using her to bring me & others closer to Him.  i know someday i will be able to WALK & TALK with jocelyn in the kingdom of heaven & she will be made new, made PERFECT!!  how wonderful that day will be :) 

   ok, this blog has gotten quite lengthy, i think i should wrap it up...so, i really just want to say HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet sweet angel...i LOVE you so much!!!  it's been quite the journey for the past 7 years & i've enjoyed every minute of it...even the hard ones.  thank you joce for sharing your journey with me...i'll be there with you until the end...i love you!!!

Jocelyn...the picture of SIMPLICITY...

    

XO, XO, XO

"Love one another"  John 13:34







 ~ Valentine's Day ~

well, valentine's day...some love it, some hate it.  i happen to like valentine's day myself & i had so much fun this year getting our table all decorated for the special day .  i just had to do something special for the kids & this is what i whipped up. they were so suprised when they came home from school...SMILES were immediate & large!!  especially from jocelyn, she was so excited!!!  check this out:

she was definitely all SMILES!!  & ready to dive in to that candy...

the boys LOVED it too...



Logan & Devin



my boys...i LOVE so much!!

we had all kinds of candies, cupcakes, cookie cake & my favorite Russell Stover's Strawberry Creme Hearts...so so yummy!!!



Sweet Jocelyn



i even received a very special, thoughtful gift from my hunny for my valentine's day present...a Kitchen-Aide Stand Mixer!!!!  i could not be more excited...i will definitely be putting that baby to good use :)  i think he just wants me to make cinnamon rolls more often, & now i won't have an excuse to get out of it!!!







She LOVES Snow...



~Jocelyn Abigail Weese~


ok, so jocelyn did get to enjoy the snow for a little bit.  i just could not resist getting her out it in for some pictures :)  she seemed to love it, until she finally realized how COLD it really was out there. i'm just glad that i was able to get some pictures of her in the snow, especially since oklahoma does not usually get big snows like we've had this year.  i think the kids have missed a total of 7 days of classes so far...hopefully we are at the end of all the SNOW DAYS for this school year...i've had enough!!! hope you enjoy the pictures of jocelyn, i think they are super sweet!!!



~MY SWEET SNOW ANGEL~



Do We Really Need This Much SNOW????

well, we have definitely been bombarded w/ tons of snow (for oklahoma anyways...).  for real, our neighborhood looks like colorado :) the boys are loving it, me not so much.  i will admit that it's beautiful, but it sure is a mess when you have to actually venture out into it.  but today i finally got out for a walk thru the neighborhood just so i could enjoy the beauty of it all.  i'm glad i did.  got several good pictures of me & the boys...couldn't let all this snow melt before trying to do some kind of photoshoot.  just wish i could get jocelyn out in the snow, maybe later.  so, here's some pictures:

Logan & Devin in our Neighborhood

Me



i LOVE our neighborhood, woodsy yet we're still in town...




Logan Nathanael





almost looks like colorado...pretty good snow for oklahoma :)



me & logan w/ cooper

Devin



Devin...KING OF PISTOL HILL!!!





SNOW DAY

LOGAN & DEVIN

well, the boys had their 1st SNOW DAY of 2011...i'm hoping the ONLY one!!!  there really wasn't much snow, but since the roads were slicked over...School was Cancelled!!  i guess you could say they had a pretty good time playing out in the snow...they really wanted to build a snowman, but there just wasn't enough snow for that.  there almost wasn't enough snow to have a snowball fight, but somehow they managed...logan had a few "crying" episodes because devin insisted on hitting him directly in the face w/ his snowballs.  finally logan had enough, called it quits & came inside.  his exact words..."it's freakin cold out there!!!"  i would have to agree w/ him...i myself chose to stay indoors w/ jocelyn where it was nice & toasty!  anyways, the boys enjoyed NOT having to go to school :)

LOGAN NATHANAEL

A New Year...A New Me...We'll See

Wow!!!  2010 is officially gone & we're right into 2011...just like that.  i can't believe i've put another year behind me, but i guess i have.  that being said, i'm ready to get some new traditions going this year for my family...for instance, ORGANIZATION...for all of us, not just for me.  these boys of mine have got to get with it on this idea :)  another thing to work on...RESPECT...especially my oldest, devin, he's got alot of work to do in this area...not that he'd admit to that.  another thing i would love to get started is SUNDAY DINNER...my mom finally got moved back here, so i'm thinking sunday dinner w/ the whole family would be great!!  not sure if my husband will be thrilled, but who cares...i mean, he loves to eat, so it should work to his advantage :)  i'm also thinking FAMILY GAME NITE needs to make an appearance on our calendar at least 2 times a month.  while these aren't really resolutions or anything, they're still things that i find important.  things to help get me thru 2011 a little easier & maybe even a little happier.  i'm definitely ready to try to make 2011 a great year for me & my family...i hope everyone else's is great too!!!  ~HAPPY NEW YEAR~